An Extremely Overdue Update.

Well, it’s certainly been a while, hasn’t it? To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if I was ever going to return to this blog, or even the book reviewing world, again. But, if there’s anything I’ve taken away from my multiple bouts with trauma, it’s this: do what feels right, and don’t overthink it. And right now, getting back into this is what feels right, so, that’s what I’m doing. It feels strange, to just jump back into the swing of this, without explaining everything that’s happened since I’ve been gone. I think mostly because so much happened. But, if I were to just sit here and write it all out, it’d be 1.) terribly triggering and depressing, and 2.) probably 15 pages long. And who wants to deal with all that? I know I don’t. I’m sure bits and pieces of everything will surface in time. Or maybe it won’t, and that’s fine too. Like I said: I’m not overthinking this, I’m just doing what feels right. So, here we go. It’s good to be back.

Top 5 Wednesday: Nostalgic Ships.

Top 5 Wednesday is a weekly meme hosted by Sam @ Thoughts on Tomes and created by Lainey @ Gingereadslainey with different bookish topics for each week.

If you’re interested in joining in, see the Goodreads group!

— Discuss the first fictional couples you ever got butterflies over, or couples you used to be really into when you were younger.

1.) Edward Cullen and Bella Swan from Twilight by: Stephanie Meyer.


I think this one is gonna make a LOT of people’s list. Like, what were you doing in 2008 if you weren’t rooting for this ship?

2.) Kurogane and Fai from Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle by: CLAMP.


This is a ship that I’ve been super invested in for a LONGGGG time. So far, it’s been really bait-y, but I’m hoping that someday CLAMP will take the plunge and make this ship cannon. I mean, they’re soul mates. It’s GOTTA happen.

3.) Sirius Black and Remus Lupin from The Harry Potter series by: J.K. Rowling.


UGH!!! WE WERE SO ROBBED WITH THIS SHIP!!!! These two were so obviously meant to be together. The whole Remus and Tonks thing was a complete joke. THIS was the romance to end all romances in this series.

4.) Amanda and Kyrian from The Dark-Hunters series by: Sherrilyn Kenyon.


I’ve been following this ship since I was in high school. This is the second book in this ENDLESS series, and we really get to see these two go through their entire relationship together over the course of the series, and it’s so sweet. I love it.

5.) Watanuki and Doumeki from xxxHolic by: CLAMP.


UGHHHHH!!!! ANOTHER SHIP I WAS ROBBED OF!!!! These two were, just like Kurogane and Fai, absolutely smitten with each other. But FOR SOME INSANE REASON, CLAMP decided to not let them be together, and I’m forever bitter about it.

Tag Tuesday: MAMMA MIA! Book Tag.

So, I’ve been listening to the MAMMA MIA 2 soundtrack pretty much non-stop since the movie came out. So I was kind impossible for me to not do this tag once I found it. This tag was created by Ashley @ ashleyoutpaged, and per usual, I wasn’t tagged. But….HERE I GO AGAIN!!!

1. when i kissed the teacher/name a book with a shocking plot twist


Gonna have to agree with Ashley and say Godsgrave by: Jay Kristoff. All throughout this book, things would change direction at the last minute. Eventually, you decide to quit being surprised, but it doesn’t work. Each twist leaves you just as shook as the first. This series really is just, so freakin’ good y’all.

2. waterloo/name a book you’re positive you’ll be in love with


Oooh, I’m gonna go with Wicked Saints by: Emily A. Duncan. The buzz about this book is NO JOKE. Everyone is selling their left kidney to get an ARC of this thing, and I can understand why. The premise sounds so dark, and thrilling, and complex. I can’t wait to get my hands on this. I really think I’m gonna adore it.

3. why did it have to be me/name a book you went to to get over a reading slump


I’ve gotta go with The Kate Daniels books by: Illona Andrews. Paranormal-romance is always my goto when I’m in a reading slump. They’re so quick, and fun, and easy to get through. And this series has really become another one that I count on to get me back into the swing of reading.

4. i have a dream/name a book character that inspires you


I’m gonna have to go with a character I just recently met, and that’s Paul from Christ in Concrete by: Pietro Di Donato. Paul really was such an inspiring character to follow. At such a young age he sacrificed so much to support his family, and never backed down. He was a dollface.

5. andante andante/name your current read


I’m currently reading The Men with the Pink Triangle by: Heinz Heger. I mentioned in my Reading Resolutions post, which you can check out here, that I wanted to read more historical non-fiction, and this book has been on my TBR for the longest time. I’m really glad that I’m diving into this part of history that I’m not that versed in.

6. knowing me, knowing you/name a book you had to break up with and dnf


Have to go with The Road by: Comac McCarthy. This was one of the books I was supposed to read for a class last year, but I just couldn’t do it. I’m a bad girl, I know. But, last year was really hard for me, and I wasn’t in a good headspace, and this book was just really bleak, and depressing. It wasn’t good for me. So, I practiced some self-care and DNF’d it. Mental health is more imporant than grades. And I got an A anyway, so…

7. mamma mia/name a book you recently read again


I haven’t reread any books lately! Which really makes me sad. But, I’m so busy I really can’t justify it. I do plan on rereading The Book Thief by: Markus Zusak in March, as is my tradition, so there’s that.

8. dancing queen/name a book that made you want to dance around the room


I’m gonna have to go with The Sun and Her Flowers by: Rupi Kaur. This book just made me feel so seen, and validated. It really made me so happy, even though it was reminding me of some really hard things. If you want to hear more of my thoughts on this book, you can check out my full review here.

9. super trouper/name a series you haven’t finished due to it’s intimidating size


The Dark Hunters series by: Sherrilyn Kenyon. Y’all, I’m so far behind in these books, it’s not even funny. And I’ve forgotten so much from the previous books, that I’d have to reread them. And that’s like, over 30 books. So…yea, I’ve been putting this off for a while. Maybe after I graduate?

That’s it! That’s it for this tag! That was quick and fun, which is my favorite kind of tag. But, what about y’all? How would you have answered any of these questions? Do you agree with my answers? What’s your favorite MAMMA MIA song? Let me know down in the comments!

Sunday Fun-day: Library Haul.

So, something that the Booktube community always got a lot of flack about was the lack of library hauls. And so far, in my time spent here blogging, I haven’t seen many here either. But, I frequent the library A LOT. So, I figured I would do routine library hauls here. So that’s what we’re gonna do today! So, as I believe I’ve mentioned here before, I’m a Tragedy Scholar. This means that most of the books I check out from the library are non-fiction books about historical tragedies or atrocities. And that’s basically what this entire haul consists of. So, with all of that being said, let’s jump into it!

1.) The Men with the Pink Triangle by: Heinz Heger


I decided to check this book out because, although I’ve read many books about the Holocaust, and I know off-hand thaat homosexuals were targeted, I’ve never read anything specifically about them. So, i decided to change that.

2.) The Holocaust by: Laurence Rees


Yet another book about the Holocaust. This is kinda my specialty in history. It’s the thing I’m most eucated about. This author wrote the book that was the basis of one of my favorite documentaries about the Holocaust. So, I decided I would give his books a shot.

3.) Dark Summit by: Nick Heil


After watching a random YouTube video about Mt. Everest last year, I’ve kinda become obsessed with it. I’m especially interested in all the stories that came out of the deadly 1996 season. So, when I happened upon this book about that very season on Goodreads, I decided to give it a try.

4.) Borrowed Time by: Paul Monette


Another subject that I’ve decided to fully educate myself about is the AIDS crisis. As a member of the Queer community, I think it’s important for me to know about this incredibly horrific time in our history. This is the first of many books on the topic that I plan on reading this year.

5.) Day of Infamy by: Walter Lord


So, it’s not just the Holocaust that I consider my historical specialty, but all of WWII. But, surprisingly enough, I don’t know an awful lot about Pearl Harbor. So I decided to pick this up. I’m also interested to see Walter Lord talk about something that isn’t the Titanic, which is his specialty.

6.) Not Even My Name by: Thea Halo


This book is about the little talked about Amenian Genocide. My sister-in-law is Armenian, and has talked about this period of her people’s history a few times, so I decided to educate myself about the subject.

7.) Execution By Hunger by: Miron Dolot


This book is about the forced famine of the Baltic people by Stalin in the 1930’s, that killed millions of people. This was a topic breifly talked about in my Holocaust in Literature class, as people have called it the “hidden Holocaust.” Now, while I don’t agree with anything except the actual Holocaust being referred to as a Holocaust, I was still interested by this event. So, I picked up a book about it.

And that’s it! Those are all the books I’ve picked up from the library recently. Now, as I’m ahead in my school reading, I hope be able to get to these very soon. It always kills a little piece of me when I have to return a book before I’ve gotten the chance to read it. But, how about y’all? Have you gotten any books from the library lately? What are they about? Do you like library hauls? Tell me all about it in the comments!

Review Friday: My Antonia.

17150My Antonia by: Willa Cather

Released: February 20, 1918

Pages: 232

Rating: * * *



Through Jim Burden’s endearing, smitten voice, we revisit the remarkable vicissitudes of immigrant life in the Nebraska heartland, with all its insistent bonds. Guiding the way are some of literature’s most beguiling characters: the Russian brothers plagued by memories of a fateful sleigh ride, Antonia’s desperately homesick father and self-indulgent mother, and the coy Lena Lingard. Holding the pastoral society’s heart, of course, is the bewitching, free-spirited Antonia.

This was the first book I had to read for my American Immigrant class. This was also the only book on the reading list for that class that I’d heard of before. I think most people have heard of this novel, but I doubt that they know what it’s about off-hand. And that’s definitely true in regards to me. I had no idea that this book was about immigrants, I just thought it was about the mid-west, which it is as well. But the novel really is about the immigrant experience, I just don’t think it was done particularly well. Let me explin:

This book is called My Antonia, but it’s not from Antonia’s point of view. It’s from Jim Burden’s point of view. Jim Burden is a rich, white, American-born boy. So, you might see where I take issue with him telling the story of a poor, immigrant girl. Most of what we see of Antonia is through Jim’s lense, and that lense reduces just aout everything Antonia and her Bohemian family does down to “foreign quirkyness.” He sees the things that she and her family have to do to survive as odd, and silly. Like, he really doesn’t understand what immigrants lives are like, and it really starts to grate on one’s nerve after a while. “I moved from Virginia to Nebraska, so I’m kinda an immigrant too!” SHUT THE F*CK UP, JIM!

The other thing is that people consider this a love story. Well, it’s not. See, Jim isn’t REALLY in love with Antonia, he’s in love with the idea of her. He loves how “quirky,” and “exotic” she is. He also loves that, for the first half of this book, she’s very dependent on him, and his family. I mean, they moved to the middle of nowhere Nebraska, with practically nothing. Yea, they kinda need ANYBODY’S help. But of course, Jim doesn’t get that, being the privledged little unk he is. No, he thinks he’s Antonia’s white knight, here to save her from the cruel world she’s too innocent to navigate on her own. GAG. His tune quickly changes, however, when Antonia starts to come into her own, and takes care of herself, and her family. Yea, then Jim gets all butt-hurt and whatnot. Shocker Shocker.

I think that this book had great potential to make a statement about what life is like for immigrants in this country. Antonia’s family, and Antonia herself, were very complelling characters. They just weren’t given the right narrator. No one wants to hear what Pasty Jim Rockafeller has to say about immigrants, okay?

Top 5 Wednesday: Freebie!

Top 5 Wednesday is a weekly meme hosted by Sam @ Thoughts on Tomes and created by Lainey @ Gingereadslainey with different bookish topics for each week.

If you’re interested in joining in, see the Goodreads group!

–Since January has an extra Wednesday, feel free to use this as a free day and talk about your top 5 anything! You can use old topics you missed or want to revisit or create something new.

So I’ve decided to share my top 5 favorite songs with you guys! This was REALLY hard to narrow down, but I think I’ve got it.

1.) Unwinding Cable Car by: Anberlin (Favorite song of all time!)

2.) Not Today by: Twenty One Pilots

3.) The Only Difference Between Martydom and Suicide Is The Press Coverage by: Panic! At The Disco

4.) Crooked Teeth by: Death Cab For Cutie

5.) Ghost by: Mystery Skulls (Favorite music video of all time!)

Tag Tuesday: Disney Tag.

OMG! IT’S ANOTHER TAG THAT I WAS ACTUALLY TAGGED TO DO!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!! THIS IS BONKERS!!! But, regardless, I was tagged to do this tag by Allie @ Alliembooks, and the tag was created by JAMbeauty89. This tag is all about Disney, which is one of my great loves, so let’s goooooo!

1.) A scene in any Disney movie you wish you could experience.


The lantern scene from Tangled! GAH!!! That is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen in all of Disneydom. I can’t imagine how gorgeous it would be in real life. Flynn gushing over me would be nice too….

2.) An unforgettable experience/moment you’ve had at the parks.


Probably when I went with my best friends, and I lured them into the financial trap that is Disney Pin Trading. Mwhahahaha. Yes, I am THAT friend. Beware potential, future friends. Bewareeeeee~

3.) What non-Disney song(s) reminds you/brings back memories of Disney and/or the parks? 

Ummmm, I honestly can’t think of one. Like, I really can’t. Darn.

4.) When was the first time you went to a Disney park?


My grandfather and uncle helped build Disneyworld. The Pirates of the Caribbean ride? The tracks you ride on? He built them. The puppets of the pirates? My uncle made them. I was like, a week old. I was practically raised there.

5.) If you could choose any Disney character to be your best friend, who would you choose? 

Hmmm, probably Milo Thatch. We’d be unabashed history nerds together. It would be so freakin’ great. Or Kuzco. He’s so sassy. He’s great.

6.) Who are you favorite Disney princesses?

Aurora and Merida. Aurora has been my favorite since I was a baby. And Merida is a new favorite.

7.) Name a scene/moment in any Disney movie that never fails to make you cry.


UGH! When Granny leaves Todd in the woods!!! WHY!!! WHY YOU LEAVE YOUR FOX BABY?!?!?

8.) What is the first Disney movie you remember seeing?


Ummm, probably Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. The Wicked Queen was my Nana’s favorite. And my Nana was my Disney drug dealer. Sooo…

9.) What is your favorite Disney movie?

It’s a tie between The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Treasure Planet.

10.) Who is your favorite Disney villain?



11.) What is your least favorite Disney movie?


Ummm, probably Fantasia. Though, I haven’t watched it since I was a kid. Maybe I’d like it more now that I’m an adult. Who knows?

12.) What is your favorite Disney song?

UGH!!!! THIS IS SO HARD!!!!! Ummmmm, probably “I Won’t Say I’m In Love” from Hercules. Or “Let Me Be Good To You” from The Great Mouse Detective. BUT THERE ARE A BUNCH MORE!!! LIKE ALL THE MARY POPPINS SONGS!!! AHHHHHHH!

13.) What Disney Character (s) has your personality or has your dream personality?


Merida. She’s such a fierce little firecracker. I love her.

14.) If you could change any scene in a Disney movie, what would it be and why?

Ummm, I can’t think of an answer for this one either. Dangit.

15.) If you had to get stuck on any ride in any Disney park for more than 30 minutes, what would you want it to be?


Definitely Pirates of the Caribbean. It’s always cool, the song is fun, and the puppets are cool. Always my favorite.

Yay! That was fun! Now, I tag anyone who loves Disney to do this tag! Go forth! Experience the magic!!!!

Sunday Fun-day: Defaced Book Thief.

Well, I finally get to show you all my passion project! That’s right, I started defacing a copy of The Book Thief by: Markus Zusak in 2017, and finally finished it in 2018. That’s right. I worked on this thing for a whole year. And it was a fanatstic little journey, and I’m super excited to share it with you all! So, let’s get started!

So, the first thing I decided to attack was the dust jacket. I was browsing through our family’s old books, and found a book about Hitler, complete with pictures, and decided to incorperate this into my design. So, I tore out pages, and pictures (don’t worry, we were gonna toss this book anyway. it was all eaten up by bugs), then stained the pages with tea and coffee, then placed those stained pages in the oven at a low heat to get a little burned.

screen shot 2019-01-05 at 4.04.29 am

Then I carefully tore the stained, burned pages into pieces, and made a kind of collage by gluing all the pieces on the reverse of the book’s original dust jacket. I then printed out the title and author’s name and pasted those on. I made sure that at least one of Hitler’s eyes was covered in every picture. It gave me peace of mind. If that makes sense?


Then I decided to attack the actual book itself. For the front cover, I chose to draw Death’s skeletal hand touching the cover of the book. And I chose to make the cover of the book be Lisel’s own book, The Word Shaker. I also added a little burned corner effect in the corner, to give it the sense that Death had just found it after the bombing, in the rubble.


Then, for the back cover, I drew Death and Lisel, with one of the book’s most famous quotes. The design of Death was based off of this picture (I own this as a shirt, btw).


Then I decided to attack the inside. For the front inside cover, I decided to dicpict one of my favorite scenes in the book: where Rudy gives the dying pilot the teddy bear.


Then for the back inside cover, I split it into two pieces. One, based on the beautiful illustrations done by Trudy White inside the book, with one of my favorite quotes from the book. I used the same staining and burning method for the background. And then one in tribute to Hans Huberman, the acordian player that pays for things with cigarettes. I used wax paper and coffee grounds to make the little cigarette.


Then, yes there’s more, I decided to attack the inside inside. That’s right. I went after the actual pages. I decided to go through the book and highlight as I normally do: Orange is beautiful prose, Blue is just things I like, and Green is my absolute favorite quotes. Then, I would chose a qoute, and make a pretty word page of that quote on the opposite page. I used scrapbook paper and sharpie pens to make the pages. And before you ask, yes. These pages are glued onto the existing pages. The book is now unreadable. Trust me, it’s fine! I’ll prove it later.


These are not all the pages I made inside. I made over 45 pages inside. These are just some of my favorites.

And this is how I know that making the book unreadable is okay. I took the book to meet Markus in 2018, and he loved it. He took a bunch of pictures of it, and signed and personalized it for me. So, yea, it’s FINE.


So, that’s it. That’s my grand masterpiece. I don’t know if I’ll ever thoroughly deface a book like this again, but ya never know. It was just, so much fun. And it was something that brought me a lot of joy in a not-so-great year.

So, what about y’all? Have you ever defaced a book? Which one? CAN I SEE IT???? I’d love to look at it! And if you haven’t, would you? Which book would you deface? Let me know down in the comments!

Review Friday: Night.

1617Night by: Elie Wiesel

Released: January 16, 2006

Pages: 120

Rating: * * * *



Born in the town of Sighet, Transylvania, Elie Wiesel was a teenager when he and his family were taken from their home in 1944 to Auschwitz concentration camp, and then to Buchenwald. Night is the terrifying record of Elie Wiesel’s memories of the death of his family, the death of his own innocence, and his despair as a deeply observant Jew confronting the absolute evil of man. This new translation by his wife and most frequent translator, Marion Wiesel, corrects important details and presents the most accurate rendering in English of Elie Wiesel’s testimony to what happened in the camps and of his unforgettable message that this horror must never be allowed to happen again.

This was the first of my school books that I got to. I’d been meaning to read this book since middle school. You see, in middle school all the children were separated into different classrooms for 4th period, also known as “homeroom.” During this time, we were assigned a book to read and discuss. All the rooms got a list different books to pick from. Night was on this list. But despite how much I argued for it, the rest of the class picked Homecoming by: Cynthia Voigt, which is probably my least favorite book ever. But another class picked Night, and they read it, and they all had their worlds crumble because of what they read. You see, we weren’t taught about the Holocaust in school. The only reason I knew about it was because I decided to teach myself about it. You can hear the entire story of that here. So, none of these kids had been exposed to this information before, and it changed them. Like it changed me the year before.

No matter how many of these books on the Holocaust you read, whether they be fiction or non-fiction, they’re going to change you in some way each time. So, despite the fact that I’ve read dozens and dozens of books on the Holocaust, this one still changed me. Which makes me happy. I think the day that these stories stop affecting me, is the day I cease to be a person worth being.

I’ve mentioned in past posts that, when I read Holocaust books, I try to find something that makes it stand out from the rest. I think what makes Night stand out, is Wiesel’s…I don’t want to say negativity, but I can’t think of another word. Using the word “realistic” doesn’t sit well with me either. This is what I mean: in the book, something that Wiesel is very frank with is his doubt, and then rejection, of his religion. Now, doubt in faith isn’t unique in Holocaust fiction, I’ve read it before. But, there’s always the sense that, even though the narrator is doubtful, they will ultimately remain faithful. This is not the case with Wiesel. He makes it clear that this experience destroyed his faith in God. And it’s easy to understand why.

He’s also very frank about the way that humanity begins to slip away from you in the camps. Again, this isn’t anything new. Many narrators describe the way that OTHER people begin to turn on each other, and lose sense of who they used to be. But they are always an onlooker to this behavior. And they’re always horrified by it. And, in the beginning, so is Wiesel. But by the end, he admits that, he too, lost his humanity, and began to turn on the people he loved most. This is very rare in these narratives. In fact, this is probably the first one like this that I have read.

This only thing I didn’t care for about this book, was how fast it was. On one page the Nazis are far away and not in their minds, the next page they’re loading them into trucks to go to the ghettos, next page they’re in the camps. It feels like so many chunks of this story were just ripped out, and it makes the book seem really jerky. That being said, I can understand why maybe Wiesel wouldn’t want to dive into all the horror that he experienced during this time, and I’m not saying that he has to. I just wish that the transitions from one event to the next were maybe smoother.

I now know that this is the first book in a trilogy, and I’m excited to get to the others. I really respect Wiesel’s approach to telling his story, and want to see how he tells the rest.

Top 5 Wednesday: Top of Your TBR.

Top 5 Wednesday is a weekly meme hosted by Sam @ Thoughts on Tomes and created by Lainey @ Gingereadslainey with different bookish topics for each week.

If you’re interested in joining in, see the Goodreads group!

–What books are you dying to get to?

1.) The Holocaust by: Lawrence Rees


As I mentioned in my Reading Resolutions post, which you can check out here, I’m trying to read more historical non-fiction. This is written by an author that I love, so I figured I’d pick up his newest release.

2.) Kingdom of Ash by: Sarah J. Maas


I need to get to this. The spoilers. I can’t avoid the spoilers forever.

3.) The Men with the Pink Triangle by: Heinz Heger


Yet another book I want to pick up to achieve my new reading goal. I haven’t read anything about the homosexuals of the Holocaust, so I decided to educate myself on the topic.

4.) Alice Isn’t Dead by: Joseph Fink


This is a book I’ve been dying to get to ever since I bought it last year. I’ve just been too busy to pick it up. Hopefully I can make time for it soon.

5.) The Raven Boys by: Maggie Stiefvater


I gave my best friend one of my many copies of this book so she can share my obssession. I intend to read it along with her, so we can gush about all the things together. It’s gonna be the best!